The Grace found in Letting Go.
Hold on to what matters most to you, by loosening your grip!
There’s both power and magic in full surrender.
A reader of my local monthly column sent me this question: “I’m super stressed, worrying about elections, my family’s future, losing my health or my job, navigating climate disasters… it’s overwhelming. And I know I’m not alone! Advice?”
Ironically, a surer way to hold on to what matters most is to loosen our grip. Let go! Breathe! Whether you’re anxious facing actual or anticipated losses, cast the burden. Imagine being held in Loving Hands. Surrender, feel the negative experience transform.
Significant losses trigger great fear, tragedy throws us entirely off center. Our basic sense of security, ground seems stolen out from under us. Minds and emotions go wild or numb out: grief, rage, confusion, disbelief, powerlessness. But I deeply believe, having survived several suicidally depressed episodes years ago, losses of loves and homes, that we can crawl out from under the weight of the pain with compassion, easing off on the struggling and resisting change, and accepting the fundamental insecurity or uncertainty about our lives on planet earth. I discovered the spiritual dimensions of my own, oh so human pain. My professional roles in mental health validate too, how the intention to be well, the focus on solutions rather than ruminations on problems, relieves, restores us, and reduces or erases PTSD. I’ve lived it.
Along with our first step of bearing witness to intense loss with deep empathy and kindness, recovering from grief, anger, depression asks us to find gifts and benefits hidden in the loss. A simple yet powerful recovery practice is gratitude. Appreciating even the smallest thing about being alive, reduces immediate and long-term anxieties. November is a perfect month to express gratitude: for each precious day of life; for family, friendships, caring community support; for the miracle of receiving love, and doing so with grace; appreciation for what we do have, not taking things for granted; to become more generous; to be more patient, kind, forgiving towards — and present with — those we love.
Ironically, in the face of great loss, we are potentially poised to embrace Life more abundantly, with even greater faith in The Scheme O’ Things. By surrendering in faith to a greater power, Grace is met. There are gifts hidden in the heart of tragedy, and they light our path to loving and serving more beautifully. I had an unforgettable moment on October 9th, 2017. At 1:20 a.m., I was startled awake by a loud voice on my answer machine: Evacuate immediately! Tubbs’ firestorms were headed my way. Stunned, registering what was happening, what on earth should I grab to take, where could I go? What was happening to my life? A moment of intense alertness and transcendence washed over me. In a flash, first I sensed the impossible horror of losing everything I own, my home, and having nothing to come back to — even my life itself? But in the next breath, I felt wholly free –of everything. Unfettered. Simply free. That transcendent moment was a Gift and I knew it, even as imminent danger had me scrambling to exit my house. Somehow, I knew I would be alright. No matter what. I was able (for a moment) to embrace the inherent insecurity of being alive and being human, and the wisdom of acceptance and deep surrender. And the deep transformation, kindness and compassion that great loss can drive.
May we rise to the occasion of letting go, letting Love grace our lives. Loosen the grip. Breathe. Be here, love now. My mantra: the point of power is in the Present.
Shining deLight, Marcia
