MEMOIR WRITING:
A simple “vanity” project, or something much, much more? “On With the Show!”
“I think I’m going to write another book,” I said to a close friend, “about my show business career. I’m calling it, On With the Show!”
“Why would you want to do that,” she replied. “Haven’t you already got too much to do? And what would you want to do with that?!”
OK. Indeed. But I had just had another reunion conversation with a former friend and music colleague. Brian is still musically active, a singer-songwriter-guitarist that I hadn’t chatted with in decades! And so here I was, stirred again, delighted by the remembering, and thinking about getting those stories out of the filing cabinet in my brain, written down and recorded.
I remind myself that recollecting can be good for the soul. We seniors have an especial drive to reminisce (from the Latin word, “to recollect.”) Story- retelling helps us discover the meanings our lives have, distill what’s truly valuable to us –find the keepers. And if we are lucky to have kind, inquisitive ears listening to us, we mine the treasures of our stories more thoroughly. Another little-known factoid about the aging process is that this story-telling process assists an actual developmental task: to complete a life review. Plucking the true gems from the bag of our personal experiences and tales, we find our legacy.
As with my other books, or in the retelling of a particular life story, once I begin following a thread, others, related –some long forgotten — begin to turn up as well. In time, my life itself seems to come apart, just a pile of seemingly unrelated stories. But if I persist and fortune smiles on me, in the end, I see the whole fabric of my life anew, with wonder, appreciation, grace. My very life seems more precious, makes more sense, and is seen as uniquely like yours, as well.
This memoir includes many illustrative elements: photos, scans of awards and other memorabilia and paraphernalia and my personal artwork. I included original typewritten lyrics pages –some with scribbles in the margins. Yet this scrapbook effect also conveys authenticity to adorn the verbiage. You might be thinking, “This really feels like a vanity project? Pulled out of my ego, to satisfy some need to feel more important? Or special? Or is that a narrow POV? In sharing, if by chance you should bear witness to me, I may find a measure of immortality.
After writing down the bones of thirty memoir-ish tales, in the process of reviewing my so-called “show biz” career, I came to realize that this book was not really be at all what I had thought it would be. No longer wa it a relatively simple, straight- forward account of some of my favorite anecdotes along with some insights, but a fuller scale Life Review –the kind us older adults are wont to do. This made the work far more complicated for me, and yet more enticing at the same time: to actually seek for –and maybe find — myself, my authentically Marcia-ish self. And to discover myself, throughout my life, performing in one capacity or another. Writing the book enabled me to see that the art of self-presentation (and I stress the term ‘art’) is a deep and pervasive part of my Story, infecting, as it were, most every part and chapter.
Had I not undertaken this “vanity” project, in spite of not knowing if I could or would market it, or being able to justify all the time it would take, I would probably not have come to this revelation, that at the core, I am a Performer. Perhaps the urge to perform, to entertain, to attract and hold the attention of an audience –of one, of several, or of hundreds — in person on a stage or on the screen, or to capture moments on film or with a camera, has always been intriguing for me; I am Leonine, after all, astrologically. However, I’m still introspective and largely private, when not –performing. Which is most of the time. And I’ve identified more with being a healing artist, coach and instructor. Yet in all those roles, I’ve been rewarded with audiences, without whom, the show could not have gone on.
Even the adage, “On with the show!” became another thread to follow as I studied my own life of artistry and business of presenting myself to the world: the willingness to show up, whether I feel like it or not, to whatever I’ve committed to doing. Part of my work ethic. Reminds me of a line from the song, “There’s no people like show people, they smile when they are low.” This practice, in its purest form is a path of great heart and warriorhood, and great kindness. And serves the server well, as well.
You know what else? Writing these chapters caused me to understand how the urge to act out what I am feeling or thinking, to use my body as well as my hands for talking, is another natural thread in the fabric of how I communicate to others. As is using writing to work out matters of ethics, morality, spirituality, relating, communicating. This theme was present in my earliest comedy, poetry, patter and lyrics –and still is! Through writing columns for local monthly publications.
It’s been utterly fascinating, writing this work. May you undertake the process of reviewing your life, as you can, as well, through your own stories, your own retellings, your own, unique awakening.
Maybe you’ll write your own book –! And don’t let anyone dissuade you, with talk of “vanity projects” being less worthy of your time and effort.
