MASTERING THE JITTERS!

The solution to anxiety is actually right under your nose. But you’ll have to unlearn a lot in order to harness this inherent power…

In the face of constant change, uncertainty and the unknown, what if living in the moment, the freshness of each moment, were to become the norm for more human beings? The concept of Impermanence, a mainstay of Buddhist spiritual and meditative traditions, has much to teach us.

Details. I’m about to chalk up seventy-six years of surviving life on planet earth, which has prompted me on the one hand, to learn how to handle anxiety, and on the other, to cultivate peace and clarity, equanimity, joy, enthusiasm and play. If you think the good feeling states came easy for me, you would be entirely wrong — and entirely right. (I’ll explain that paradox a bit later.) The point I want to make is that I’ve experienced just about every kind of heartbreak and worry, shame, frustration and anger, and really, there is JUST ONE WAY to really manage or deal with anxiety. And it’s not taking it by the throat and wrestling it to the ground, nor trying to bury it, pretending it doesn’t exist or matter. It doesn’t even require getting to the bottom of all the specific things you actually are afraid of, and the beliefs that attend those fears that lurk underneath the free-floating anxiety — though that can help!

But I am getting ahead of myself. I’ll back up.

It’s fire season, again, here in the S.F. Bay Area. It’s been fire season for months already, no end in sight. But if I let the threat of losing my home, or my life, rule my time here on the planet, or I spend loads of time preparing for disaster, what would the quality of my life be? Same goes for Covid. Here I am, a pretty hardy and still very active elder, who happens to be without healthcare insurance. If I get sick or worse, it’s all outta pocket expense. That definitely has influenced the extreme care I take of my circumstances; but that doesn’t mean I am ANXIOUS about it. Or at least not often. And when I am, I have tools in the Life chest to repair or even prevent damage. Two main practices, which I am getting too, soon, I promise. That comprise the ONE way to handle anxiety and come out on top.

So, as I was saying, it’s fire season. But I just ate fresh blackberries off the vine in my backyard for a yummy breakfast. There is no actual fire in my sphere at the moment. Oh, the memory of being evacuated on October 8th, 2017 is never far away from my reach, or the week-long evac that began on October 26th, 2019. I’ve had bags packed with clothes, foodstuffs, first aid and sleep fare for two years, ready to go. My trunk is half full of items. But, the truth is, if I have to flee again, I may or may not remember everything in the house I would ideally want to take. So should I be preparing more fully, instead of having berries?

HERE’S THE PROMISED KEY: The most powerful preparation is not contained in the actions you’ve already taken, whether you’ve got the right gear, everything handy. It’s in your ability to BE PRESENT, HERE NOW. That’s where the clarity, resourcefulness, instinct/intuition –and joy in being alive — lie. In fact, I am saying you don’t have to control your world, your life, your circumstances at all, in order to have access to what you need. Life is bigger than that! The possibilities grander. By any name, Life, the Universe, God is greater, kinder, more awesomely capable than our little conscious minds can imagine.

Which leads me to the key to mastering anxiety: RELAX into the moment, and allow your good to show itself to you. It used to be called, “Let go and let God,” but since “God” can be a confusing concept, I usually avoid it.

Try it for yourself. With awareness, watch what happens when you TRULY LET GO, surrender into what’s happening for you right now. Appreciate this moment of being alive, in this adventure called Life. Have a sweet, lovely, fun, inspiring or sexy moment. Just be alive! Anxiety cannot live in that space. It does not thrive with oxygen and breathing freely.

OK, sure, you may surrender and find yourself in tears, or heated up. It takes practice, lots of practice to learn to put your arms around that, around yourself when you are down. But if you do, beautiful surprises follow. I promise.

Before I sign off, I will explain the paradox I ran into at the start of this share: that the good feeling states I experience now, often, each day, didn’t –yet did — come easily. I worked very hard, struggled through 6 suicidal depressions. I was anxious about my boyfriend, my career, my body and appearance, and the environment, social justice –you name it. But the relief from my distress only came when I let go of it, grasping at it, trying to control and micro manage everything. When I surrendered to the Unknown, the Uncertainty, I sensed there had to be another way. Something easier and more fulfilling, more natural, native, instinctual. And there was! Life, here, now, this moment, rich, vibrant, teaming with aliveness. Relief was EASY, anxiety was exchanged for an experience of Grace. What’s more, the help, the support, the things I needed, were no longer blocked from appearing. I didn’t need to have prepared anything, to receive that goodness, other than my state of mind, heart, spirit.

Want relief from anxiety? The key has been under your nose the whole time: BREATHE! Let go! Trust! Appreciate! Be!

S/he who is immune, is immortal.” -Lao Tzu