EARTH ANGEL
Sometimes you wake from the dream world knowing that you’ve been led through a Doorway outside space and time…and your life is changed forever.
Sometimes you wake from the dream world knowing that you’ve been led through a Doorway outside space and time, into a reality far more compelling than the waking variety. In 1993, a life-altering mystical Dream unfolded itself on me, the spiritual warrior. In five distinct scenes, it revealed the evolution of my familial, patriarchal search for Love, and keys to my own soul’s evolution. I awoke from it, my life passing before me, trembling all over, diving under the covers to hide for nearly four hours, before braving a 4 a.m. outdoor patio meditation during which I gained some insight. I’m still learning about and from this Dream that came from the Source of All That I Am, disguised as a story. I offer here a condensed version of the final portion only, with a few DreamWork notes. [The entire dream, “Earth Angel,” is published as a chapter in my book, Love, Thy Will Be Done: Tales of Awakening A Wild Heart, Vol. 2, 2020..]
[PRELUDE] A Jewish Passover service is in progress in a large, outdoorsy space with a performing theater nearby. Four of us are seated at an enormous square table, my sister Beth close to my left, Daddy far off to my right, and opposite me, a frustrated man presiding over the service, trying to get us all singing together, repeating the page number in the prayer book, my haggadah. I’m having trouble understanding what he’s saying; Beth has just found the page. The leader argues he and we could be having a beautiful experience, if the rest of us could get our act together. I’m really trying to catch the tune, hum along, but there’s little there to grab onto. Staring into my blurry book of prayers, stanzas of the song now appear as earthy vines with beans wrapped around them! Suddenly I notice that lots of other people have gathered in the arena, seated nearby — all Jewish? A chorus of voices arises, singing the song, which now feels decidedly otherworldly, yet very familiar. I hum along, as the chorus gets stronger, wondering how this group of Jews seated singing in what now appears to be a marketplace could produce such a sound?
Just then, our family table disappears; Everybody gets up and begins milling about, business as usual. The music and chorus, however, remain in the background, stronger than ever. A woman approaches and I tell her I have a strong psychic feeling that something significant and extraordinary is going on. [MYSTICAL] Hairs all over my body stand eerily on end: I know that something over which I will have no control is about to occur. I’m beyond registering the terror my body is showing me as instantly, I fall to the ground ‘inside’ a cry that comes from the core of me. As I’m falling, the strange (and humorous) thought occurs that maybe I’m about to become “a Jewish holy person after all,” after having been estranged from my birth religion virtually all of my life! Unable to feel my solid body at all, I ‘hit’ ground and a silent void is everywhere. In a moment’s breath later, I arise as an Angel — flying freely, totally amazed, my heart a haven of unconditional love. While I’m an accomplished flyer in earth dreams, I’ve never flown — never been — like this….
As I fly over the crowd, a woman sees me and reaches up to touch me, crying out, “Oh, Blessed Virgin Mary! It’s the Blessed Virgin!” Confused, uncomfortable, I reply, “No, no, it’s me, Marcia Singer, — Marcia Singer!” She can’t see who I am at all, it seems. An almost unbearable sorrow threatens to overtake me. However, virtually in the same flash of awareness, an instinct tells me that harboring this sorrowful realization/thought will cost me my new wings. I cannot afford the luxury of a negative indulgence.
Instantly I gather myself, pulling my entire focus onto spreading my wings and staying aloft. Another angelic being, male, passes me going the other direction. His eyes are wild, new, afraid, like my own. But I cannot indulge thinking. Instinctively, I fly on to all those in need of my loving care. All around in every direction are the people of the world. With my hands and eyes, I am touching them, one by one, with total, unconditional love. “Look! It’s an angel! See the angel,” sobs a man. So much pain! So many in need! People’s eyes are revealing everything, nothing is hidden from me — gratitude, pain — and terror at beholding me. One young man greets me with eyes that mirror my own. He’s one, too –an angel. I sense there are more of us.
[DREAM WORKING] The entire dream speaks of my yearning for intimate, Loving Connection, which fails if I’m too busy, indirect, unconscious, ashamed of deep feelings — or depending upon other people for an experience of my divinity. It also gives a preview of what I am becoming, what we’re each becoming: an earth angel, bringing the compassion and bliss of the angelic realm into embodied service.
Ever since I fell/died and rose/was reborn for a moment as an angel, unencumbered by thoughts of self, of need for recognition or confirmation, or patriarchal conditioning, my life has changed. I touch more freely, more often, with more love and fewer conditions. Having Glimpsed what’s Possible, I am freer to serve with grace, freedom, and lightness of Being. I am totally blessed, totally grateful, — and totally mystified.
