A TOUCH OF TANTRA: Partners’ Practice grounds you through soul gazing & heart-breathing
by Marcia Singer, MSW, CHt
More couples than ever before are ready to consciously and creatively embrace their lovemaking as a sacred endeavor. In both sexual relations and the realm of the soul, “making love” is the gateway to fulfillment. For lovers who pursue the Tantric path of Sacred Sensual and Sexual fulfillment, the discovery that sex, love and intimacy are part of soulful spirituality holds wondrous possibilities.
A Sanskrit word, “tantra” is often translated as, “weaving together,” of the sacred Feminine and Masculine aspects of the Divine. It also translates as “liberation” or “transformation,” since its practitioners, tantrikas, seek divine self-realization as their true goal. In the West, the body of practices known as the “yoga of sex,” provide dedicated couples with techniques for deepening and expanding ecstatic connection. It naturally heals sexual and sensual wounds as blocks to joyous connection are dissolved.
To lay the groundwork for a beautiful, sexy tantric experience, it’s important to surrender. Surrender is the willingness to be fully present in the moment, with all its unknowns. Here is a three-part “Basic Tantra Connection” meditation exercise you can do with your special partner to ensure the heart opening and body honoring foundation for all the exciting results you desire.
BASIC TANTRIC CONNECTION EXERCISE
Part 1: Grounding
Sit comfortably across from your loved one, close enough to touch. Let your spine be upright, shoulders relaxed. Close your eyes and go within. Sense the ground of Mother Earth’s loving support beneath you, letting your body relax even more fully, resting in place. Next imagine an opening at the crown of your head where the ‘light’ of truth and love might come in. It’s not so important that you actually see this, just be open to its possibility. Sense it happening.
Part 2: Heart-Breathing
Focus on your breathing, noticing its inward and outward movements. Put your attention onto your heart, your love and ecstasy center. Breathe as if Love were coming in and going out with every breath. Imagine your lungs as the wings of your heart. Do this “heart-breathing” half a dozen times until it feels familiar. You may also wish to feel yourself connecting deeply to Earth, Sky, Cosmos.
Part 3: Soulful Eye Gazing
Now you are ready to open your eyes and be with your honey. Continuing to heart-breathe, look into your partner’s eyes with a softly dynamic gaze. Move your attention from one eye to the other, shifting as you like. If thoughts or head chatter intrude, gently bring your focus back to simply breathing and looking into your lover’s eyes. If you wish, you may focus on the word “Beloved” to heighten your experience of love for your partner, and for the expression of the Divine that s/he is at all times.
A nice variation is to take turns sending and receiving the gaze. One partner “looks into” the other, while the latter just receives and allows entry. Then trades roles. With practice, trust is built for both roles, compassion deepens, and playful spontaneity arises. You may experience the mystery of your deep connection to each other and with your God/Goddess nature. You become the Beloved, you See only the Beloved. Two are as One.
Do this exercise as often as you can. As a prelude to touching and to sex, it creates the possibility for men to master the ejaculatory response, separating it from orgasm, allowing full body orgasm and multiples. Women connect more readily and open more profoundly to full-bodied fulfillment s both partners build plateaus of arousal, creating waves of ecstatic union. Phenomenal sex is also phenomenal love in the making.
(Published originally in L.A. Spirit Magazine, Winter 2000)
